• “My life is complete.”
• “We are bonding.”
• “She is my present, my friend.”
• “My heart feels blessed.”
• “I can’t wait for grandfriend day!”
• “Wow!”
• “This is the light of my life!”

These feelings of joy and fulfillment were expressed by children and elders participating in IDEAL18’s intergenerational initiatives.  In our communities, many elders and young children experience significant harmful effects of ageism and isolation. IDEAL18[3] trains educators and community leaders to create initiatives that bring these two groups together in ways that create deep, consistent, fulfilling relationships for the benefit of all.  These relationships are fostered through intentionally-designed ongoing interactions –- be it tap dancing, gardening, literal bridge building, stained-glassmaking, Haggadah-creating, block playing, sound-making, holiday crafting, cooking, portraiture, and more. This article explores the critical need for such initiatives, their powerful impact, models, and practical strategies for successfully implementing such initiatives in one’s own institution, be it an early childhood center, school, synagogue, seniors’ center, or community center.  

The Crisis

Our communities are facing an insidious social and health crisis. Ageism, that is, stereotypes and discrimination relating to the aging process and older adults, is experienced by over 90% of U.S. seniors (Allen et al 2022). Moreover, ageism is strongly associated with poor physical and mental health, including symptoms of depression and aggravated chronic health conditions (ibid., Allen 2016, Hu et al 2021).  Ageism “is prevalent, ubiquitous and insidious” (Global Report on Ageism 2021) and has far-reaching consequences for wellbeing and quality of life.

The effects of ageism are magnified by the social segregation that many seniors experience (Hagestand and Uhlenberg 2005).  Isolation affects everyone in our technology-infused, busy, siloed society, but often hits seniors the hardest. In the U.S., college-age students often move and stay out of town leading to lack of interactions between the eventual grandchildren and grandparents. Many elders live alone, and, according to one participant, may “wait all week for their kids to call on a Sunday afternoon - that’s all they have” (Paster).  Ageism can also be subconsciously internalized and self-directed, leading elders to limit themselves and to think poorly of their own worth (Lamont, Swift, Abrams 2015, Levy 2001, Meisner 2012).  Many seniors lack relationships with youngsters that could reignite the seniors’ sense of wonder, self-worth, and purpose.

Young children, too, experience the harms of being isolated from an older generation. With their parents and other adults busy earning a living, taking care of the whole family, and dealing with technology, young children sometimes lack the focused, lengthy, one-on-one attention of an adult with the patience and time to directly listen to and interact with them. Several ECE directors who participated in the IDEAL18 training noticed the emotional effects on their students of the lack of “dedicated time to connect meaningfully with another person”(Bernstein). Older adults often have the time, attention span, and desire to provide children with those connections.

Furthermore, young children who do not have positive, regular interactions with elders are likely to adopt society’s ageist attitudes, to carry them through adulthood, and then direct the harmful stereotypes at themselves as they age (Levy 2003).

As described below, deep intergenerational interactions are a powerful way to combat ageism and isolation for the benefit of participants of all ages and of society as a whole. 

Models of meaningful intergenerational programs in action

Laughter, tears of joy, and squeals of delight can be observed as the elders, deemed “grandfriends,” and young children interact and build meaningful relationships. IDEAL18 Executive Director, Diana Ganger, and Director, Sharon Goldman, emphasize that these connections are most impactful only when fostered through regular, ongoing interactions with consistent cohorts of grandfriends and children.

Content for these interactions is exciting and varies, always involving planned, hands-on activities that invite exploration and conversation. During the recent cohort of fellowship training, supported by a Covenant Foundation Signature Grant, IDEAL18 fellows implemented the following as part of their regular interactions:

• A weekly tap dance workshop series for elders and 7–8 year-olds, held after school hours.[4]
• Building a bridge together out of blocks. This physically required two pairs of hands to build, and led to discussions about building relationship bridges across the ages.[5]
• Touring the stained-glass windows at the synagogue and then jointly creating their own stained-glass artwork [6]
• Special holiday programs such as Purim crafts,[7] or sushi making in celebration of the lunar new year[8]
• Biweekly visits prior to Passover focused on preparing together for a joint interactive seder. The elders and children crafted an Elijah’s or Miriam’s Cup as well as created a page of a Haggadah together. Then they held an interactive seder together using their jointly made classroom Haggadah and each child/grandfriend’s cup.  Parent volunteers attended and added a third generation to the culminating interaction.[9]
• Elders visit the class weekly, bringing from their homes ritual objects related to the week’s Jewish theme, and they explore with the children personal stories about the objects.[10]
• A senior who is an experienced master gardener led a series of hands-on gardening workshops with the children.[11]
• Students are brought weekly to the horticultural room at a seniors’ recreational center that happens to rent space on the same campus as the Temple. Each week, the school’s art teacher sets up learning prompts and the teacher and students invite the elders to join in.[12]
• Photos of the grandfriends are posted in the hallway, so even during the rest of the week, the children can look at and write notes to their grandfriends, and the grandfriend can read those notes when they visit.[13]
• A weekly afterschool chorus program between elders and young students in kindergarten through second-grade.[14]

Structures for these ongoing interactions are diverse and cater to the institutional context. Grandfriends can visit a classroom, children can visit an elder center, or both can meet up in a third space (e.g. a garden or a synagogue social hall.)

Many of us are familiar with standard interactions between a class full of children and a group of elders: perhaps the youngsters sing Hanukkah songs in a nearby nursing home, or a grandparent visits a class to read to the students. Events like these are lovely, but they do not solve the societal crisis of ageism and isolation, because they do not include the interaction and consistency necessary for building relationships. Ongoing, interactive, intergenerational initiatives provide a more effective path. According to Ganger, to make a significant impact, “we don’t build programs, we build relationships.”

 Strategies for successfully creating impactful intergenerational initiatives

Many fellows who participated in IDEAL18’s training had the desire to lead intergenerational programs and perhaps had even implemented some, but wanted to learn how to do so in a more impactful, transformational way.

Ganger and Goldman designed a fellowship for training leaders which included several essential elements for creating transformative intergenerational initiatives. The fellows used these elements when planning and leading initiatives in their home institutions, and described their importance and impact.

The first essential step for making real change is realizing that change needs to be made. There are many pressures on an institution’s or person’s time, resources, and attention, and an initiative will fall by the wayside unless its leaders believe in its worth.   Ageism is a crisis in our communities, one that is toxic and systemic but often unnoticed.[15]Therefore, one must raise awareness of the prevalence and severity of ageist bias in one’s community, and crucially, in oneself.  To accomplish this, the leaders learned about the severe effects of ageism and then shared ideas with their teams.  They discussed their own relationships with the elderly in their families and in the community, and they shared stories from elders in the community. During a fellowship training conference, Granger and Sharon used activities such as a face-aging app to have the fellows note their negative reactions to aging and to recognize their own internalized ageism.  Fundamental to success is identifying the crisis and motivating the leadership team to want to fix it.

Even once the leadership team is motivated, the leaders must then “fertilize the soil” by changing younger people’s inadvertent hesitations about being with older people. Children as young as preschoolers have already adopted the negative ageist attitudes of society (Levy 2003).  If one brings a stranger who is elderly into a classroom without sufficient preparation, the children, through no fault of their own, will feel distant and even scared. They may be frightened by wrinkles, or walkers, or the thought of someone dying. Before the encounters, classroom teachers increased their students’ comfort level and normalized for them the aging process. The teachers included in the classroom library books for children about aging, wrinkles, and life cycle, including dying.[16]  Such books were read at circle time and kept as a normal part of the classroom library. The teacher also led age-appropriate guided discussions about these topics, aided by these books.  Additionally, intergenerational leaders reported that students’ hesitations were greatly eased when the teachers included mobility devices such as a walker or wheelchair in the kindergarten play/dress-up area, normalizing these devices and, consequently, their users.

Similarly, the seniors should be prepared about what to expect from the children. Young children may come across to elders as rude when the children get distracted or act impulsively. The children may also talk too quickly, be shy, or act in other ways that cause elders to be discouraged.  To alleviate this concern, the intergenerational leaders held preparatory meetings with the elders, explaining expected childhood behaviors, and giving tools to the elders to deal with them. The leaders also recommend holding reflection workshops after the intergenerational interactions.  According to IDEAL 18 fellow Geula Zamist, the post-program reflection workshops are one of the most impactful elements of her intergenerational initiative. Facilitated by a member of the leadership team, elders share challenges, strategies, and successes. The elders learn to understand the individual children more fully, they adjust their strategies to maximize future success, and motivate each other.

Crucially, as mentioned above, the focus must always be on relationship-building. This requires creating a structure for regular, ongoing interactions between the same groups of children and grandfriends. It also requires purposefully-designed activities that are hands-on, interactive, and invite conversation. To accomplish this, there must also be thoughtful attention to space and materials.

The intergenerational leaders also took to heart other learnings from their training program that made their initiatives successful. For example, they thought big but started small. Their dream may have been to involve multiple cohorts of children and grandfriends, to meet weekly throughout the year, and to start all of it immediately. However, that would likely have led to disappointing results and fizzling of the initiative. Instead, the leaders chose one set of children, and a small group of elders. They piloted an idea, tried a small number of relationship-building programs, and gathered extensive feedback from all those involved. They reflected on the successes and challenges of the initiative and used that to strengthen the initiative going forward. The fellows also created and nurtured a shared leadership team within their organization in order to have partners in implementing these initiatives more effectively and so that the initiatives can live beyond one leader.

The directors and fellows also stressed the importance of documenting and sharing the initiatives.  Documentation (in words and in photos) serves not only to deepen the initiative’s impact, but also to broaden it: Through sharing successes of the initiative with the wider community, others are inspired to combat ageism in their own lives and settings. Some fellows found a volunteer or a member of their shared leadership team to take photos and to write down observations and quotations during the program and its reflection. Others write blurbs for institutional newsletters, post on professional or personal social media, reach out to other institutions to share ideas, and contact local media.

Thoughtful planning led to powerful results.

The power of intergenerational initiatives

The impact was significant for all the participants of the relationship-focused intergenerational initiatives – the children, leaders, and elders.

The children expressed feelings of excitement and meaningful connection. For example, they wait all week for “Grandpa Greg day,” they are all eager to sit at the grandfriends’ tables and do activities together, they’ve declared their grandfriend “my new best friend,” they’ve asked that their grandfriend’s favorite song be played, and they’ve enthusiastically shared their experiences with other classrooms and with their own families. The depth of mutual affection can be seen during and between many of the programs. During programs, faces are beaming. Some families make plans for their children to meet up with their grandfriend during school break.  

The leaders felt the impact directly as well. One leader realized “how quickly an elder can spiral downward when they do not have connections” and saw first-hand “how important and vivifying it is for them when they do” (Bernstein). Another leader saw the power of the initiative and concluded that more community programs should be by default intergenerational (Herman). The initiatives give the leaders themselves joy, one declaring that “I can see that I am effecting change. Each encounter lifts me up and gives me more meaning and purpose” (Zamist 2024).

The elders likewise expressed joy and fulfillment from their interactions. They stated that the visits were “by far the highlight of my week,” “fill my bucket,” and are “the light of my life.” An elder shared with the children that she takes two buses, using a walker, in order to be with them and that she wouldn’t miss it for anything. An older adult participant in the intergenerational choral program affirms that these initiatives “give us a sense of accomplishment… I could see that I am a vibrant living, contributing member of a much larger group who is aging gracefully… We all need more opportunities like this” (M. Laurianne). Participants in other initiatives were equally enthusiastic, one describing her interactions with the children as “a learning experience [that] allows us to see the wonder through their eyes. (Zamist 2024)”

Furthermore, studies show that these positive feelings lead to increased physical health in older adults (Sargent-Cox 2012). The World Health Organization’s Global Report on Ageism credits intergenerational initiatives for numerous positive outcomes:

Intergenerational contact strategies are among the most effective interventions for reducing ageism against older people…[They] can, for example, lead to improved health and psychosocial well-being, and increased self-esteem, and can reduce distress, decrease loneliness, lead to a greater sense of social connectedness and strengthen intergenerational solidarity. (WHO, 2021)

One Fellow summarizes these intergenerational relationships as “a win for all” (Bernstein).  

Conclusions

These findings demonstrate that “we can be changemakers” (Belzer).  Ageism and isolation are a crisis in our communities. Change must and can be made through intentionally-designed intergenerational initiatives which greatly benefit all. The need is urgent, and the solution is clear.  Intergenerational initiatives can be implemented in a variety of ways, utilizing different structures, personnel, and content, making these initiatives customizable to many different settings.  The key is to be aware of the crisis, to plan with intentionality, and to create relationships. With the fundamental in place, these initiatives can transform the lives of seniors and of children, and can significantly improve our communities. One intergenerational fellow concludes, “There is so much negativity going on in our world because connections are absent. Humans are born connectors, and we need connections like these in order to thrive and even just to survive” (Bernstein).

A second revelation is the untapped opportunity to provide such intergenerational programming that is provided by our shared campuses and spaces. Many JCCs and synagogues serve all ages, and schools may have seniors’ facilities sharing their campus, yet the programming and spaces often remain siloed from one another. The above findings demonstrate that it would behoove our communities to take advantage of these proximities and create connections across the generations.

Moreover, the insights gathered from these intergenerational initiatives can serve as a valuable compass for identifying and rectifying other social challenges in our communities. These tools can be applied across demographics, aligning with our desire to create more welcoming communities for all.

Further resources about intergenerational initiatives:

Recommended children’s books that normalize aging: How Old am I: 100 faces from around the world, by JR and Julie Pugeat, Grandfather’s Wrinkles by Kathryn England, The Hello, Goodbye Window by Norton Juster and Chirs Raschka, Mrs. Katz and Tush by Patricia Polacco, Oma’s Quilt by Paulette Bourgeois, The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A story of life for all ages by Leo Buscaglia, and many more. These and others are listed by Ganger and Goldman at IDEAL18.org/books/ 

Books for adults: How to Live Forever by Mark Greenberg, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism by Ashton Applewhite.

Videos of intergenerational initiatives around the world can be found at ideal18.org/research-video/

Coaching, consulting, and practical resources for institutions interested in exploring intergenerational initiatives can be accessed at IDEAL18.org, by contacting IDEAL18’s directors Diana Ganger dganger1818@gmail.com and Sharon Goldman sharon.goldman0613@gmail.com, or by calling 630-390-8229.

Judith Shapero

Judith Shapero is a senior educational leader, consultant, project director, and researcher. Judith has designed and taught Jewish Studies and Jewish Education courses at York University and at the Jewish Theological Seminary of America, and has been Principal, Vice Principal, curriculum developer, teacher, and Department Head at TanenbaumCHAT and other schools in the Toronto area. Judith conducts evaluations of Covenant Foundation Signature grantees and is also the Director of Education at Temple Sinai Congregation of Toronto. Judith coaches many schools in the United States and Canada by leading faculty PD, creating custom curricula, supporting school leaders, and enhancing Jewish studies pedagogy. 

Judith has won numerous awards for her contributions.  These include the Division of Humanities Excellence in Teaching Award, the Shoshana Kurtz Book Prize, and the Joseph Zbili Memorial Prize in Hebrew from York University; the Gold Solomon Schechter Award for Jewish Family Education from USCJ; and the Charles H. Revson Fellows for Doctoral Studies, the Fannie and Robert Gordis Prize in Bible, and the Dr. Bernard Heller Graduate Fellowship from JTS.

Works Cited

 Allen, J. O., Solway, E., Kirch, M., Singer, D., Kullgren, J. T., Moïse, V., & Malani, P. N. (2022). Experiences of Everyday Ageism and the Health of Older US Adults. JAMA Network Open, 5(6). https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2022.17240

Allen  J. O.,  Ageism as a risk factor for chronic disease.   Gerontologist. 2016;56(4):610-614. doi:10.1093/geront/gnu158

Global Report on Ageism, World Health Organization, 2021, https://iris.who.int/bitstream/handle/10665/340208/9789240016866-eng.pdf?sequence=1

Hagestad G., Uhlenberg  P.  The social separation of old and young: a root of ageism.   J Soc Issues. 2005;61(2):343-360. doi:10.1111/j.1540-4560.2005.00409.x

Hu R. X., Luo  M, Zhang  A., Li  L.W.,  Associations of ageism and health: a systematic review of quantitative observational studies.   Res Aging. 2021;43(7-8):311-322. doi:10.1177/0164027520980130

Lamont  R.A., Swift  HJ, Abrams  D.  A review and meta-analysis of age-based stereotype threat: negative stereotypes, not facts, do the damage.   Psychol Aging. 2015;30(1):180-193. doi:10.1037/a0038586

Levy B.R., Eradication of ageism requires addressing the enemy within. Gerontologist. 2001;41(5):578–9. https://doi.org/10.1093/geront/41.5.578.

Levy  B.R.,  Mind matters: cognitive and physical effects of aging self-stereotypes.   J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2003;58(4):203-211. doi:10.1093/geronb/58.4.P203

2024. Laurieanne, Laurianne M., Sirovich Center Older Adult Member quoted in “EA Intergenerational Programs,” Educational Alliance, New York, NY. March 2024.

Meisner  B.A.,  A meta-analysis of positive and negative age stereotype priming effects on behavior among older adults.   J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2012;67(1):13-17. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbr062

Sargent-Cox  K.A., Anstey  KJ, Luszcz  MA.  The relationship between change in self-perceptions of aging and physical functioning in older adults. Psychol Aging. 2012;27(3):750-760. doi:10.1037/a0027578

Zamist, Geula, “Impact-Grandfriends.” Congregation Agudath Israel, Caldwell, NJ, March 2024.

Personal Interviews

Multiple interviews were conducted by the author with the fifteen IDEAL18 intergenerational leaders in the springs of 2021, 2022, 2023, and 2024. Learnings from those interviews were analyzed for this article. The following interviewees were quoted directly or had their specific programs mentioned in the article:

Belzer, Stacey. Former Director of Family Engagement, The Jewish Community Center of Greater Kansas City, Overland Park, KS

Bernstein, Jordana. Early Childhood Director, Akiva Yavneh Academy, Dallas, TX

Ganger, Diane. Co-Founder and Executive Director, IDEAL18, Chicago, IL

Goldman, Sharon. Director, IDEAL18, Chicago, IL

Goldstick, Patty. Early Childhood Center Director,  Temple Shaaray Tefila, Bedford Corners, NY

Herman, Cory Michael. Artistic Director, The Educational Alliance, New York, NY

Paster, Carol. Preschool Director, Temple Sharey Tefilo-Israel, South Orange, NJ

Rosenberg, Floryn. Site Director, Erika J. Glazer Early Childhood Center, Wilshire Boulevard Temple, Los Angeles, CA

Thiel Prizant, Tamara. Director of Family Engagement and Center for Social Impact. Oshman Family JCC, Palo Alto, CA

Wolf-Spector, Dawn. Director of Youth Education, Congregation Rodef Shalom, Denver, CO

Zamist, Geula. Early Childhood Center Director, Congregation Agudath Israel, Caldwell, NJ.

[1] This article is based on a three-year study conducted by Judith Shapero on behalf of the Covenant Foundation. The study involved multiple in-depth interviews with IDEAL18 Cofounder and Executive Director, Diana Granger, and IDEAL18 Director, Sharon Goldman, as well as with the thirteen fellows who participated in IDEAL18’s Intergenerational Fellowship of 2020-2023. Additionally, I reviewed relevant project files and academic literature. I analyzed the data qualitatively in order to evaluate the impact of the fellowship and to identify learnings worth sharing with the wider field.

[2]  IDEAL18: Intentional, Deep Experiences Across Lifecycles. ideal18.org

[4] Herman, Cory Michael. Artistic Director, The Educational Alliance, New York, NY

[5] Goldstick, Patty. Early Childhood Center Director,  Temple Shaaray Tefila, Bedford Corners, NY

[6] Ibid.

[7] Paster, Temple Sharey Tefilo-Israel

Wolf-Spector, Dawn. Director of Youth Education, Congregation Rodef Shalom, Denver, CO

[8] Wolf-Spector, Congregation Rodef Shalom

[9] Zamist, Geula. Congregation Agudath Israel, Caldwell, NJ.

[10] Paster, Temple Sharey Tefilo-Israel

[11] Thiel Prizant, Tamara. Director of Family Engagement and Center for Social Impact. Oshman Family JCC, Palo Alto, CA

[12] Rosenberg, Floryn. Site Director, Erika J. Glazer Early Childhood Center, Wilshire Boulevard Temple, Los Angeles, CA

[13] Zamist, Congregation Agudath Israel

[14] Herman, The Educational Alliance

[15] See “The Crisis” section above for more details on the harm of ageism and isolation.

[16] Recommended children’s books that normalize aging: How Old am I: 100 faces from around the world, by JR and Julie Pugeat, Grandfather’s Wrinkles by Kathryn England, The Hello, Goodbye Window by Norton Juster and Chirs Raschka, Mrs. Katz and Tushby Patricia Polacco, Oma’s Quilt by Paulette Bourgeois, The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A story of life for all ages by Leo Buscaglia, and many more. These and others are listed by Ganger and Goldman at IDEAL18.org/books/  

Judith Shapero is a senior educational leader, consultant, project director, and researcher. Judith has designed and taught Jewish Studies and Jewish Education courses at York University and at the Jewish Theological Seminary of America, and has been Principal, Vice Principal, curriculum developer, teacher, and Department Head at TanenbaumCHAT and other schools in the Toronto area. Judith conducts evaluations of Covenant Foundation Signature grantees and is also the Director of Education at Temple Sinai Congregation of Toronto. Judith coaches many schools in the United States and Canada by leading faculty PD, creating custom curricula, supporting school leaders, and enhancing Jewish studies pedagogy. 

Judith has won numerous awards for her contributions.  These include the Division of Humanities Excellence in Teaching Award, the Shoshana Kurtz Book Prize, and the Joseph Zbili Memorial Prize in Hebrew from York University; the Gold Solomon Schechter Award for Jewish Family Education from USCJ; and the Charles H. Revson Fellows for Doctoral Studies, the Fannie and Robert Gordis Prize in Bible, and the Dr. Bernard Heller Graduate Fellowship from JTS.